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The passion of the thought-leader

Long time readers of Ricky’S Lunch Blog know that Ricky iS passionate about the Kraft Single. If there was ever a prepared food product worthy of carrying the name “American Cheese” this is it. The Kraft Single is a true marvel: the secret polymer formula, the individually wrapped slices, the 7-year shelf life, the fact that it displays the characteristics of both a solid and a liquid at room temperature—and yet it tastes so good!

In fact, I’d go so far as to say the Kraft Single is to cheese what the Hostess Twinki is to dessert.

Hold on. I’ll even go a step further: The Twinki is to dessert what bologna is to luncheon meet. It’s only because I possess a superior intellect trained for critical lunch thinking that I can identify and elaborate on processed food parallels like these.

I hope you’re still with me. Don’t feel bad if you’re not.

My point is that yesterday for lunch I combined two of these fantastic products into one ass-kicking lunch. I slapped 4 slices of Oscar Meyer baloney, 2 Kraft Singles, and a bit of Gulden’s mustard between two slices of white bread. I gently spread some butter on the outside. And then guess where I put it? Yep, in the Panini grill. As if that’s not enough, I whipped up a salty pot of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup to accompany it.

I know you don’t believe me, but here, take a look:

Did you notice the little splatter of melty cheese food on the plate? I wiped that up with my middle finger, smelled it, and then put it in my mouth.


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Big Guy on :

Is there some kind of hidden message written in the panini sandwhich (i.e., the Beatles or Led Zepellin)?

Also, there's what appears to be a chip in the plate you are using. Is that part of the sacrifice/danger you make when writing RLB?

Finally, if a Kraft single has a shelf life of 7+ and Twinkies can survive a nuclear explosion, what is the shelf life of an Oscar Meyer product?

Stuart on :

My bologna has a last name, and it's spelled Mayer. I'm all for the thought leader taking liberties with spelling but let's be careful when invoking the name of Oscar.

Ricky on :

Nobody tells Ricky how to spell is favorite luncheon meat.

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