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Fatty Meat

Sunday we hosted the monthly piano group. Part of the host’s responsibility—beyond making sure one’s instrument is performance-ready—is to serve lunch after the music stops.

Invoking my superior ability to think outside the lunch box, I opted for Italian fatty meats and cheeses. Selections included:

--Prosciutto, pronounced “Pra-zsut” back on Long Island
--Capicola, pronounced “Gob-a-ghoul” in certain neighborhoods of the tri-state area
--Soprasetta, pronounced…What? Are you a fucking idiot or something?
--Provalone
--Scamorza

Because of their high fat content these selections require no condiments. I just offered them to my guests with thin baguette slices. They went over well. I also served up my famous cheesecake and the Battle Ax made chocolate chip cookies.

I know you think I’m making all this up, but I’m not. Here, I’ll show you the deli where I got all this stuff:



Mrs. Carbone threw in a complimentary container of black olives because I spent so much money. She said “God bless you” as she handed back my credit card.

What? In the foreground? Oh that’s just my 1994 BMW R100 RT touring motorcycle. Don’t pay any attention to that. Sometimes I ride around with my Kindle in the plastic saddle bag.

Right next door to Carbone’s you can get a flat fixed for only $5:

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alan shimel on :

Rick - I just want to corroborate that you pronunciation of these rare I-talian delicacies is in accordance with Long Island dialect guidelines. It has been a while since I had Pra-zsut and Gob-a-ghoul, but I am wondering where the Morta-del was?

alan

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