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I had some leftovers from the Greek place in the fridge, so I brought them for lunch yesterday. They included a couple of those tasty pickled pepperoncini peppers. When I bit into one of them, some of the juice inside the pepper shot down my throat, which made me cough, forcing the remaining juice up into my sinus cavity. I didn’t aspirate it out my nose or anything disgusting like that, but it burned. I let out a panicked, high-pitched shriek.

My office door was closed so no one heard or was aware of my whimpering as I continually spit into my waste basket and blew my nose in a napkin for the next 10 minutes until my eyes stopped watering and I could smell again.

Of course, I felt extremely sorry for myself and wanted to blame someone for my misery. I decided to blame Greek people, as they have proven to be fiscally irresponsible—although they do seem to have a knack for geometry. And fisherman caps. The have nice fisherman caps there.

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i will add the Greeks to my list. the list includes everyone.

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