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Tongue-coating ingredients

I read someplace that bologna is made from the lips and assholes of different animals. I’d go a step further and guess that a decent baloney is probably like 65% lips and 35% assholes. I’m no butcher, so there’s no factual basis for that estimate. It’s just kind of the way it coats my tongue and the inside of my mouth that makes me think that. 40% assholes is likely too high, and yet 30% assholes strikes me as way too low.

I don’t like the word bologna, so I’m never going to use it again in mY lunch blog.

Anyway, as I was washing myself this morning the #BattleAx popped in and said, “Would you like me to make you a baloney sandwich for lunch?”

“What? No salad?” I said. I turned away so she wouldn’t see the disappointment on my face.

“No. Just baloney with white American. I’ll put mustard on it.”

“Sounds great, hon.”

She put the sandwich in a baggie. She likes to put things in baggies. Before I ate it I took a picture with my intelligent telephone (see Figure 1, below). It took about 3 minutes to eat. Then I went to the vending machine and got some Choco-Cremes, which are like Oreos, only they suck. They were in slot D2.

Figure 1. Ricky’S desk, with baloney sandwich in baggie, center left. Look how busy Ricky is! He uses scotch tape to affix receipts to pieces of paper, which is the standard procedure/best practice he conforms to when submitting expense reports.

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Dan on :

Rick is the greatest blogger if his generation.

F Banger on :

Don't you know everything in slot D2 sucks? I have never seen anything come out of D2 that was worthy consuming. If blogs could fit into vending machines, this entry would be in D2. Along with the 'fancy' ass-lip sandwich you ate.

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